i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
My balls are so social today.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize