Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
