you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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