cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
