That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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