i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
