worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
My vagina is very pro this idea
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
