I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
