Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize