They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
