Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
