I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
