Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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