I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
