my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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