The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
