Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
