ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
