Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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