I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
