i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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