I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
