So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
