Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
