I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
