I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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