she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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