the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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