see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Randomize
