just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
