I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize