wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
