At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
