i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
how drunk are you?
Several
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
