if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
