it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
