dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Operation Purity has been aborted
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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