How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
