she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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