why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize