how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
