If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
