Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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