with your own penis?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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