so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
