what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
