I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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