She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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