Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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