I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize