Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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