Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
