My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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