Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
