i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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