is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
