I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
