Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
